walking in fields of thorns hoping not to be stung
women like me know where i’m coming from
we bend over and what goes in without vaseline
cannot be healed by chocolate and ice-creams
where the weight of my life is heaped upon my back
like heroin addicts, pains of life left many tracks
love blinded me to the enemy that is too close to see
it’s not strangers i embraced that made a fool of me
it’s believing that the sacrifices that i always make
will not come back to bite my ass like a snake
knowingly i enter into many garden of thorns
where the only inhabitants are the ones i spawn
giving them all of me, like a sister, like a friend
wishing to be visible, hoping they will understand
i am more than a mother, a slave to their whim
i am just another woman; i am one of them ---
© Copyrighted by
Linda J. Malonson, 10/18/2011. All rights reserved.
her favorite words
i had already heard
"i’ll do ME; you do you”
-- had a ring of truth
what next she said
awakened the dead
“you can’t trust me”
-- now the blind can see
what love had hidden
a taboo not forbidden
a mother once a fool
-- two women who chose
a path that rings true
“i'll do me; YOU do YOU!
© Copyrighted by
Linda J. Malonson,
10/27/2011 All rights reserved.
A long day was yesterday, as long as can be
Yesterday was just too got-damn long for me
We talked about life again and what one should do
When holding on for far too long to an old shoe
The metaphor was perfect, this I agree
But yesterday was too got-damn long for me
With every step my body caved into pain
Spent most of yesterday hobbling with a cane
Another holiday where I played the slave
Am I to be thus cursed even to my grave
I am not confused about what determine abuse
Made lot of sacrifices, still I’m the one who lose
Don’t have expectations of me; I won’t have any of you
I have the rights to choose if I desire to be abused
A long day was yesterday, as long as can be
Yesterday was just too got-damn long for me
The metaphor is perfect, this I agree
But yesterday was too got-damn long for me
Now that it’s tomorrow the blind ones still can’t see
The way I am treated seems like yesterday to me
I’m old and tired; I need rides filled with surprise
I can’t live off lies that I see floating in their eyes
And the smirks that they hide in their phony little smiles
Everybody talking jive, ignores tears in my eyes
So today just bad luck, I am feeling pissed again
Got on the phone rant and rave and hurt my only friend
She cried a while and I felt bad, what else could I do
I needed to talk; she was there, we stumbled on truth
We talked about life again and what one should do
When holding on for far too long to an old shoe
She said yesterday was too got-damn long for us
Now that we are old we are treated just like dust
Copyrighted by
Linda J. Malonson, 11/26/2010. All rights reserved.
when my bones ached
and i was unable to move
i called out to you
somehow you seemed to know
and didn’t pick up your phone
and i’m left all alone
in my solitude
a lost voice crying out
wondering
what was it i did or didn’t do
to be treated so cruelly
- was i not a good mother
-- was i not a good wife
--- was i not a good friend
---- did i not play the roles
life assigned me
have i not always been there for you
even in my solitude ---
catering to your every need
did i not give you everything
always feeding your hunger
still catering to your greed
of needing me by your side
every time you cried
it didn’t stop until you used me up
why? why are you so cruel
while in my suffering you shut me out
leaving me in solitude
when i need you
oh beloved ones the truth is uglier
than the lie i live pretending you care
left alone in my fear
of being alone
no longer strong
in my solitude
to think of all the times
i gladly served you
still i face this ugly truth ---
when i have no need of you
is when you want to be around me
when i can be of service to you
is when you say you love me always ---
to say you broke my heart
is an understatement
oh beloved ones
you did what slavery couldn’t do
you broke my spirit
left me in a state of hopelessness
in the twilight of my life
where does the family go
when i need them so ---.
i used to believe
that the good I did would come back to me
--- but i am still waiting
for tender mercy and kindness
i used to believe in god ---
now my life is
fragrance free ...
© Copyrighted by
Linda J. Malonson,
7/26/2009. All rights reserved.
My life took a whipping yes it did.
Beat me until I was almost dead!
it said enough is enough …
… you ain’t that goddam tough
Why don’t you try living instead!
My family doesn’t love me so what.
Like you I am just another mutt!
life ain’t no goddamn lark …
… for babies born in the dark
Living with self almost drove me nuts!
My mind took a whipping by my fears.
My heart built a wall around my ears!
still I rose above abuse …
… pain the tool used to defuse
My thoughts are saturated with tears!
My body took a whipping and bled.
My spirit was beaten my skin shed!
bitter lessons burned deep …
… awaken my soul from sleep
Life illusions bloodied and in shred
I started a new life reason why
Life is for the living that’s no lie
let the dead bury the dead …
… time is only in the head
I am bidding hopelessness goodbye
I rose above the hell in my life.
Having hope extracted the last knife!
my soul created a world …
… a new way of life unfurled
I rose above the negative strife!
Copyrighted by
Linda J. Malonson,
10/09/2011. All rights reserved. |
