Amias' Bio & Amias' Self-Image Bio

"... and this is what I know. I had to go beyond who I thought I was, to get to who I Am. You see, you read me in my past. I write in your future. The bridge is where we meet; one on each end. We touch only in the reflections of our thoughts. My blog is ... a gallimaufry of opinions, changing with personal experiences, once locked away within the mind, but not by choice. I wear my mask to reveal myself, not to hide." - Amias

During the baby-boomer years in Sunflower County, Mississippi, Linda was born into a family of poor sharecroppers, the tenth child of thirteen. The untimely death of her mother left Linda, from the tender age of eleven, to spend her formative years living in dysfunctional homes where she was severely abused. A chaotic and disruptive upbringing rarely offered her the opportunity for a formal public education. Undaunted and craving knowledge, she educated herself and, at a young age, Linda began to write of the pain of abuse she suffered both mentally, physically, and spiritually. The therapeutic act of joining letters into words and words into stories, poetry, and prose not only served to save her sanity, it undoubtedly saved her life.

A prolific writer of poetry, prose, and short stories, Linda has won the praise of many of her fellow poets. By masterfully combining her own style of expression with a voice rich with dialect, each piece reverberates with a resonance rarely heard. Linda, known around the blogsphere as Amias, is a poet dancing truly to the beat of her own profound drum.

Believing in the sisterhood of all women, Linda was inspired to write a poem honoring the women of The Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan (RAWA). She also created a Sisterhood web site, where all is welcome.

Making her home in Texas, she can boast of a marriage forty-one years strong, she has 5 children, 14 grandchildren, and 3 Great-Grandchildren. A self-made woman, Linda is well known, and has won many accolades for her dedication to the underprivileged and impoverished children of her community, and her work with the senior citizens. She is currently retired and spends most of her time doing what she loves most, writing.

Linda is a true survivor. She wishes to share with her readers this truth:

"Nothing is impossible to overcome and nothing is impossible to attain, is a lie that can be changed into the truth ... based not on the strength of one's desires, but on who you know, and how high they are on the latter of success." -Amias

Amias' Self-Image Bio

It's just as hard coming back from hell, as it is going. But nothing is impossible, and if you can go to a place, you can leave it! There's an old adage of, "taking one's life back", in my case, I am reclaiming it from those, including myself, who have abused it.

I concur that I am filled with useless thoughts about things that have already happened and I am left with the side-effects. I feel good about writing again, even if what I am writing about is useless to others, it makes me feel good, and therefore it’s not a total waste of time and energy. You see, the road I am traveling on is hard, and it’s not my enemies that steered me on this path, it is the choices I made. I live the consequences of my choices, and I can’t change the past, nor can I control my future --- I live in the moment, because it’s the only place I am allowed to be.


.... dwelling place of the SELF

flesh carried
inside a womb of water
took nine months
to be born …
spirit dwelling within Self
took nine years to be free
be ye not afraid
of this little child
her light neither kill nor heal
it illuminates
exposes dis-eases
be ye not guilty
nor ashamed
of life’s games

I am “agonizingly” unique. I am unaltered. I have not been influenced by the outside world, because --- when something or someone comes near to me, my fire defends me from danger to my psyche --- my soul; I am the child.

Every ninth cycle, I am given a new lease on life. During the first cycle I am ignored; I locked minds with the old ones, even after death their spirits stayed with me --- I lived among many, alone.

During the second cycle, I was left to the whims of fate, and darkness descended into my life and I lost my innocence --- living in hell, to save my sanity, nine personalities were born, all living under the sun, outside the womb of fire, where this child lives.

Personality 1 was physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually abused. Personality 2, lost a mother, and after being raped, gave birth to a daughter, became the family's whore. Personality 3 gave birth to two daughters to free Personality 2 from domestic abuse. Personality 4 lost a father, withdraw within herself. Personality 5 lost a sister, hated the church, but became a religious fanatic. Personality 6 got married and gave birth to a daughter and son, to balance Personality 5. Personality 7 lived in pains all her life, suffered for everyone, lived in the darkness and saw no sun --- she became a hermit, serves as the historian. Personality 8 worked and took care of everyone; her job, to this day, is never done. Personality 9, filled with hatred for the Inner Child, lives most of her days contemplating suicide, so she can rejoin the Inner Child. Then there is me, the Inner Child.

My personalities are puppets on the stage of life; we all play our parts. But I know all secrets and can not be surprised by my other sides. Be not afraid of this little child, but don’t expect mercy --- if you can remember the child in you; you will know, children, like animals sometimes live more on instinct than intelligent, to survive.

I am the core of us all --- without me everyone will fall --- there is much I can share, but I won’t go there. If you remove your mask, you will see that all “matter” is trash, waiting to be influenced by life, which assigned value to everyone and everything.

To lessen the fire within my womb, so that I may live in peace, with every split I shift the intensity of the flame, and give birth to SELF --- again and again; every ninth cycle, free of human umbilical cords. At this time, if any personality choose to die, we do not cry --- I invite them back in like an old lost friend.

For those of you who have released your hold on darkness, traveling with me through the light, makes you a Savior. Those unable to come, it’s all good --- everything is "always" understood. But like the people scattered around the Tower of Babel, you will be confounded by my language --- still, I understand. I know what I know, we live to grow.

What I most respect about the God of humanity, even Satan, the one you call the Devil ; with all the evil he is said to have done ---- he is still God’s “first” son; the prodigal one. To save himself from a hellish grave, all he got to do, all he has to say is; “Father forgive me, I have sin” --- then he’s back in. Because according to the word of the God of humanity; in every language, in every culture, under all belief systems --- no soul is really lost. If the Devil asks for forgiveness from his Father, from humanity’s God --- he will receive it and be baptized in the Holy Ghost --- like everyone else that asked for forgiveness --- don’t you know? God, being all powerful, is threatened by no one, or thing. This is just a useless belief, stole it like a thief, to make a point.

But a child forgives no one, because forgiveness doesn’t exist for a child --- as all polarities must exist to manipulate matter --- to create life; for which time was created. Without such, there is no life. Sadly, humanity as a whole lives in a state of “ignorance”. Ignorance, like right and wrong, is only relevant to the individual who defines it to increase their power.

I know why you won’t let me in; I am the real thing, but wears the wrong skin --- you call me truth, but treat me like a liar --- and you wonder why I prefer the safety of my womb of fire -- !

© Copyrighted by Linda Jones Malonson, 2/28/2008. All rights reserved.

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